We believe healthy friendships are key to a child’s social and emotional growth. While conflicts are natural, learning to navigate them is a vital skill. In the PSD curriculum, we are sharing two tools to help students manage friendship conflicts: OTFD (Observation, Thinking, Feeling, Desire) and I-Messages.

OTFD is a clear and respectful way to communicate during conflicts:

1. Observation: State what you see or hear.Example: “I noticed you didn’t save me a spot at lunch.”

2. Thinking: Share your thoughts.Example: “I thought maybe you didn’t want to sit with me.”

3. Feeling: Express your emotions.Example: “That made me feel sad and left out.”

4. Desire: State what you’d like.Example: “I’d like us to sit together tomorrow.”

I-Messages focus on the speaker’s feelings and needs, not blame. The structure is:

• I feel… (emotion)

• When… (situation)

• Because… (why it matters)

• I would like… (desired outcome)

Example:“I feel upset when I’m not included in the game because I enjoy playing with you. I’d like to be asked to join next time.”

OTFD and I-Messages help students communicate effectively, build stronger friendships, and resolve conflicts in a positive way. By using these tools, students learn to express their feelings clearly, understand others' perspectives, and work together to find solutions. These skills not only strengthen their relationships but also create a more supportive and inclusive school environment for everyone.